As a conservative Republican, it is becoming very irritating to be classified by liberal Democrats as mean-spirited and selfish.  According to my senior, student and minority acquaintances, they have been told in schools and at Democratic rallies that Republicans will take away the means of survival of the poor and minorities, and that they are the party of the rich. In reality, I have many conservative friends, and most of them are not rich and none of them would be Republicans or conservatives if the Republican Party favored the rich over the middle class and poor. 

I want to clear up this misperception of conservatives by explaining how liberals and conservatives are, figuratively speaking, just two sides of one coin, and this one coin, our country, needs both sides to make it balanced and healthy. What is liberalism? Present-day liberals place the rights and benefits of the individual as their first priority.  They think that individuals should have the fullest degree of rights and freedom to do as they please and develop their potential. Conservatives agree with this goal, but with some limitations. For years I functioned out of this worldview, spending all of my time, outside of parenting, counseling troubled individuals and taking people and children into my home to help them economically, spiritually and mentally.  There were some successes, but I discovered that mainly emphasizing individual importance and building up self-esteem did not make people whole or happy. Many of those I tried to help increased in self-pity and in feelings of alienation from society.

What I learned from the mixed results of my efforts was that I needed to introduce the other side of the coin into my practices—conservatism.  Conservatives believe that individual desires and rights have to be balanced by the needs and well being of the community.  Individuals are not put on this earth only for the sake of their own happiness.  They have a responsibility to also contribute to society. 

When I found that pure liberalism alone did not work, I decided to combine conservative principles with the liberal ones to see if the combination could make broken individuals whole.  My experiment worked.  By telling people that they had a responsibility to others more than to themselves and that they should have gratitude for the benefits given to them by society, they left behind their self-pity and alienation from society and began to contribute to their communities.  By balancing individualism with societal responsibility, they were able to give more and find happiness.

Now what does this have to do with the perception that conservatives are selfish and mean-spirited?  That perception exists because conservatives make individuals ask the question: Do my demands help or hurt society as a whole? Of course, in this age of self-gratification, many individuals do not want to give up their own desires for the good of society.  In contrast, conservatives are trying to restore unselfishness and community-minded decision-making to balance an individualism that has become idolatrous. For example, they are presently saying no to individual demands that will undermine the institution of the family and increase lawlessness and irresponsibility because these consequences undermine the stability and well being of society. Conservatives are saying no, not because they are mean, selfish, or prejudice, but because they are trying to restore balance between rights and duties.

Throughout history, there has been the tenuous balance between individual rights and societal duties.  Both sides need to be represented and enhanced, but neither should work to extinguish the other.  We should find the balance fitting for the complex circumstances facing our nation today